June 26, 2015


After Truth Vs Belief, we are now at the point of deciding how to go after our goals. Knowing what you want is important as it guides your thinking and actions.

In my classes I like to make it easier for people to analyse a goal and also to analyse what could potentially stop them from taking the first step. Here is a simple exercise I get them to do:

  1. State your Goal - be clear about your goal, what you want.

  2. Why Do you Want It? - What is the purpose behind wanting that goal?  Why do you want it?
    For example, many people feel they need a lot of money to be happy.  Why?  What does money do for you that makes you happy?

  3. What is stopping you from taking the first step?
    Using our example above, what has stopped from going after that goal until now?  What has stopped you from making more money?  Is it opportunity?  Is it lack of drive?  Is it qualifications?  What is it?

  4. Question the belief - Could you find a way around it? Could you not do something that doesn't require a lot of money to be happy?  Or, instead of saying there is no opportunity, can you create opportunity?  Be more driven?  Maybe do a course or try to get experience doing something that will help you to earn more money.

What we want to do is question all the reasons why we can't do something... rationally. Turn the emotional thinking down and start to be rational in our decision making. This is important when examining goals we want and have not achieved. It is understanding when to turn off the emotional brain and kick the rational brain into action.

If you examine military strategy, this is one of the reasons why the decision makers always view progress rationally and make decisions rationally, though they may compromise lives on occasion to win the war. For many people this is what is called internal conflict. The emotional self wants immediate gratification which overrides the rational every time. This is what stops us from achieving our goals.

If you would like a form to get you started on this goal setting process, please email me on and I will send you a tool to start.

June 26, 2015


In my last post I wrote that it was important to confront the truth about yourself on why you haven't attained your goals.

Handling the truth is something many people don't do well. We see it as a direct attack on us, on who we are. We feel that it is actually an attack on our beliefs and our values that we hold close to our heart; that define our behaviours which lead to our actions that everyone sees and sometimes we are blind to these obvious actions.

We often change our thoughts about a certain situation or circumstance to fit into or to conform to our unconscious beliefs, that is, to our model of the world. Our ‘truth’ is based on our internal bias in most cases. In psychology it's called confirmation bias. In line with this thinking is the practice of the police to get multiple witnesses’ descriptions of the same event/accident because everyone sees the accident differently.

To be able to work towards our goals, we need to be aware of this confirmation bias at all times. Are we really seeing a situation as it is, or are we seeing it the way we WANT to see it? The ideal way is to approach this is to get rational about it. Distance yourself from the situation emotionally and take a bird’s eye view of the situation. Become the coach or adviser instead of the participant.

An example of how people get control over their weaknesses are the well-known and tested Alcoholics Anonymous meetings where every speaker gets up before the audience and acknowledges that he or she is an alcoholic even though they may have not had a drink for years. The reason why they do this is because this behaviour is always in the background, simmering away, waiting for the opportunity to rear its ugly head into the life of the person. By acknowledging this, they accept that it is present and can then move forward.

The lesson here is, incorrect beliefs will always be there and it's up to you to be aware of them and consciously create new beliefs or as I like to say, create new cognitions.  Align your internal belief with the truth about you.

Once this mindset has been achieved, start working on your goals.

In the next post, I will talk about starting the process of goal setting.

June 07, 2015


I recently ran a training session on the Psychology of goal setting. Now, what most goal setting workshops get you to do is write down your goals and how many calls you have to make to get deals, etc. I think there is a time for this, but as they say, it is the horse before the cart syndrome.

Everyone I talk to has some goals or things they would like to achieve. It is always a good idea to ask yourself the question, "Why haven't I got it now?" What a lot of people don't ask themselves is the key question: "What has prevented or stopped me from getting that goal?" I find that it is best to confront the truth about yourself and examine all the reasons it hasn't happened. You may find yourself putting blame onto others and finding a reason why it hasn't worked out. One of the hardest things for people to face is that they are often the only person who has stopped themselves from getting what they want.

So one of the first things to do is actually confront the brutal truth about yourself and examine every reason or excuse without emotion. It might even pay to write these down and go through them with someone you can trust who can be impartial. My advice is do this self analysis before embarking on any goal setting exercise, otherwise the only person you are fooling is yourself.

In the next article I will provide some ideas on how to handle the truth and use it as the catalyst to start your advancement towards goal attainment.