“Why do so many people give up on their dreams…dad?”
The question caught me by surprise as it’s not the kind of question you would expect from a 14 year old.
My son knows my background and what I do and he asks me these questions as he is fascinated by what it takes to be the best.
Before we can think about why people give up their dreams, what IS a dream? A dream is a wish that can inspire goals.
So, why do people give up their dreams?
Perhaps they didn’t really want it in the first place!
It just wasn’t important enough to matter to them.
I have met many people who had dreams of running a marathon, YET what was more than obvious was the lack of discipline to do whatever it takes to move towards that goal. They liked the idea of the dream but were not compelled by it.
The same goes for those dreaming of having the big house, the great relationship, the grand lifestyle, but not willing to put in the thought and the hard yards to make it happen. It tells me that it was more of a day dream than an actual dream; a bit like the wish to win a lottery.
As I said, dreams can often inspire goals and goals lead to accomplishment.
Many people have goals that require long term focus, dedication, and persistence whereas some might just be short term. Goals have varying degrees of importance to people and one cannot judge the importance of another’s goal based on one’s own interpretation.
So the key question is why do people NOT quit their dreams?
It’s when the dream is truly important to you. The thing is if it really matters to you IT REALLY MATTERS to you; there is a lack of logic to the dream, hence to related goals. Sometimes it is difficult to describe it rationally (ask someone who wants to climb the Everest why they want to do it when there is a clear danger of losing one’s life).
When a dream is a burning desire, there is virtually nothing that will stop you and usually the only thing that will stop you is YOU.
I ran a workshop in Auckland last week on the Psychology of Goal attainment. One of the consistent themes was the lack of a big dream; many people had settled for goals that they felt were achievable, what they have been told to do and think.
Many of you will say, ‘Pancho, you have to be realistic, after all I only have this amount of time to prospect and have meetings, blah, blah blah…’. Yes, at times that may well be the case but there are always ways around limitations.
The limits are sometimes drummed into us by our parents, the society, our work colleagues and bosses; it’s about conforming to everyone’s expectations of what you should do. When you break the emotional handcuffs, purpose arrives. Think Steve Jobs. If we all dreamt of realistic goals, there probably would be no iPhone, electricity or the light bulb.
Dream big and work backwards to create a plan.
The dream doesn’t have to be big for the world, it just has to be YOUR big dream.
So I have a question for you…READY?
What would it take to fire you up?
What would it take for you to feel the pang of regret, over and over again; until you can’t stand it anymore and shout out aloud ENOUGH IS ENOUGH; because until that happens nothing will change. Get a picture in your mind of what your life will be like one month from now very clearly in all detail, if nothing changes.
I am not sure how many I have met, who have regret in their eyes. A kind of sadness and the fire has nearly been extinguished as if they are just going through the motions. Don’t let that person be you.
To help you out, write a list on paper of your dreams and any that you have given up. Then write all the reasons why you have given up on the dream or goal. See if you want to revisit that.
I suggest that you do it on paper rather than on the computer. It will give you more ownership.
If you want, tell me in an email how you feel about these dreams or goals and if there is something that you have found that you need to do to change what has not happened yet.
I welcome emails from readers on your views of some of the limiting beliefs you have overcome or if you have examples of limiting beliefs that you are struggling with and I will suggest alternatives to help you to get rid of these limiting beliefs. My email is: firstname.lastname@example.org